Demdem the Delivery Man
by AdsilaWolfy
Summary: Demyx delivers a pizza. XigDem,Implied Rikusora. T for Xigbar's horrible pick-up lines and Saïx being a tough protective puppy.


Demyx: Pizza Delivery Man

By: AdsilaWolfy

A KH fanfiction

I own nothing. At all.

A van pulled into the parking lot of the Oblivion Apartment Complex. A slice of pizza was painted on the side advertising RiSo's Pizzeria. A young man opened the door and hopped out, a big smile on his cute face. He had a mull-hawk. Mohawky on the top and mullety in the back. It sounded weird, but he made it work. His name was Demyx, a cute, naive, innocent, adorable eighteen year old that acted five, but did have a few rare moments of intellect.

I think this is it," Demyx said to his driver, who was an older man with blue hair, pointy ears, yellow eyes, and an 'x' shaped scar on his face. He was Saïx, and it was his job to protect Demyx from perverted pizza lovers.

Demyx walked around the van and opened the driver side door. "Aww, who's such a good boy?" He scratched behind the mans ears. Saïx panted and his tongue lolled out of his mouth. "Now will my puppy hand me the pizzas please?" The dog-like man reached into the back and handed the younger man two family sized pizzas. "Good boy! My puppy's such a good boy!" He rubbed noses with his 'puppy'.

Turning to face the building, Demyx thought, _Time to deliver this pizza. I only have ten more minutes before it's free! _and was stopped when twp strong arms wrapped around his waist. Saïx whined.

"Aww, does my puppy want to come?"

Saïx whined again.

The boy looked at the Oblivion apartment sign. Pets welcome. "Looks like you can come."

The dog-like man barked and hopped out of the car. He quickly locked the van and followed Demyx into the building.

"Okay puppy," Saïx perked up. "We have to find apartment 9c." He looked at a map of the building.

"Bark!" Saïx pointed to a place on the third floor.

"Good boy." Demyx stood on his tiptoes to pet his puppy's head. Passersby stared at the duo. Until Saïx noticed them. As Demyx started up the stairs Saïx growled. Then he howled and pounced on the stare-ers. Not one person in that lobby made it out without Claymore marks upside their heads. On the third floor Demyx panted as he crawled up the last of the stairs. He was unused to so much exercise. He stood up wearily, being careful of the pizzas.

"7c…8c…9c." These were nice apartments. Much better than were Demyx lived with his puppy. Not that they lived in a bad place. It was just not as nice as this. "Here we are puppy." It was then he noticed Saïx was no longer with him. He started to whimper, then remembered his puppy was a big puppy, regained his happy attitude, and knocked on the door. He heard footsteps and someone called out,

"Like, who's there?"

"Pizza delivery from RiSo's Pizzeria." Demyx said with a smile that made you want to glomp him.

From inside he heard the man say to someone else, "Hey Lux, did you order a pizza man?" He sounded like a pirate-surfer. Cool!

Another man, who sounded British, answered, "Yeah, I did. Could you get this one? I promise to pay you back on payday."

Demyx heard "Bastard." then the door opened. A tall man in his late thirties, maybe early forties, with gray streaked long black hair in a ponytail, an eye patch over his right eye, and a scar on his left cheek looked down at him.

"Here's your pizza sir."

When the blond smiled Xigbar felt his heart speed up. The blond had everything: he was ultra cute, unknowingly sexy, blond, and most likely a clueless idiot. He was the perfect uke! Xigbar was drooling.

"Uh, sir?" Demyx held the pizza under the others nose. "Your order?"

Xigbar grasped the end of the boxes and pulled it so his and the little cuties faces were close. "Hey there, the names Xigbar."

"I'm Demyx." he smiled cutely.

"Why don't -" Xigbar was cut off when his roommate grabbed and checked one of the boxes.

"Garlic chicken with bacon, just what I ordered." the British man said with approval. He had super short pale blond hair with a short goatee like thing and an earring in his left ear. He was charming and a 'gentleman' and Xigbar hated him. Whenever he found a cute uke, the Brit would swoop in and steal him away, leaving Xigbar alone and sad.

"Thanks luv-" the man stopped when he noticed Demyx looking very huggable. "Well, hello darling. I'm Luxord, what's your name?"

"I'm Demyx-"

"Okay, that's enough!" Xigbar put his hands over the mull-hawked boys ears and continued, "Why don't you go down another bottle of rum?"

Luxord's face grew dark. "Not with this cutie around. Besides, you poured it all down the sink!"

"I wonder why?"

"Excuse me." Xigbar and Luxord looked down a t Demyx, ears still covered, held in place by Xigbar, who removed his hands. "If it's not too much trouble, could I have a glass of water?" He fanned himself. "I'm really hot."

_You don't know how much, _Xigbar and Luxord thought in unison.

"Sure." Xigbar gestured for Demyx to step inside. "Wait in the kitchen." The one eyed man then pushed Luxord out of the apartment and slammed the door. "You are not going to steal this one man!"

Luxord angrily pounded on the door. "Rotten old man! He won't want you, you're so bloody old! In fact, I'll wait right here for him to run cryin' outta there from your advances!" The blond suddenly felt hot breath on his neck and turned to find himself face to face with a tall, muscular, blue haired man who looked like a mad dog that could (and would) rip his head off. He growled dangerously.

Luxord gulped.

"Do you live in 9c?" the scary dog man asked, showing pointy teeth.

Luxord nodded.

"Have you seen a young man named Demyx?"

"He j-just went inside with my roommate." Luxord managed to say.

The dog man picked him up off the ground. "Are you going to let me in?"

"M-my roommate locked me out."

"You don't have your own key?"

Luxord stared for a moment, then pulled a key out of his pocket. He laughed sheepishly.

"Eh-heh-heh."

Saïx dropped him. "Open the door!"

"y-yes sir!"

"So, kid, do you come here often?" Xigbar asked nonchalantly as he handed Demyx a glass of water, then proceeded to sit across from him at his and Luxord's kitchen table. He hoped the look he gave the blond was sexy. He had not been on a date in… almost a year. Yikes.

"Uh, this is your house," Demyx pointed out.

"Oh right…" Xigbar muttered. He tried again. "If I said you had a fine body would you hold it against me?" he purred.

"Of course not Xiggy," Demyx said, "That's a compliment!"

"Thanks" _He gave me a nickname! _"Hey Demyx, can I see your tan lines?" To his surprise, the boy looked down his shirt. _I wish I were his eyes right now. _

"Sorry, I don't have any."

"Its fine. It's fine." the one eyed man said, then thought, _And I can't believe he hasn't caught on yet. Oh well, moving on!_

"Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see."

"Where's Tennessee?"

Xigbar pretended to search himself, then said, "I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?"

"Sure, but only if I can still use it sometimes." Demyx pulled out a pen and wrote his number down on a section of the pizza box. "Here you go."

_I am sooo lucky tonight_. Xigbar tore the number off the box and pocketed it. _Luxord can never find this. _"If I followed you home, would you keep me?"

Demyx actually seemed to think about this question. Finally he said, "If you can get along with my puppy. He doesn't like a too many people."

_He has a dog? Cute. _Xigbar put a hand over Demyx's. "Don't worry kiddo, I'll make him like me."

"Aww, thanks." When he smiled it took everything Xigbar had not to jump over the table and kiss the boy senseless . He doubted the Demyx would stop him.

_Alright, one last try, then I'll let him go. _Xigbar thought, then added, _And escort him to his car so a certain drunkard won't attack him._ A part of his mind said, _Like you would like to do? _He ignored it. Now what was that one line Marly used…? "Have you ever played, 'Spank the Blond'?"

"Nope."

"You wanna- Why is there a large man in my apartment?" Xigbar exclaimed, backing away from the table in alarm.

Saïx had walked into the kitchen, holding Luxord by the collar of his shirt. He growled and released the British man, who stumbled away and practically flung himself into his room. The dog man turned his gaze on the one eyed old man trying to get with Demyx. His growl deepened.

Xigbar gulped. He was reaching for a frying pan when-

"Puppy, there you are! I've been waiting for you." Demyx held out his arms. Saïx made a happy sound, immediately going from a slobbering mad animal to a sweet cuddly puppy. He wrapped his arms around the boy and buried his face in his chest.

"Aww, who's a good puppy!" Demyx rubbed noses with Saïx. Then he remembered Xigbar (who had no idea what was going on). "Xiggy, this is my puppy, Saïx. You said you were gonna make him like you."

"Uh…" was all Xigbar could say. The way Saïx was glaring at him… now he knew how a rabbit felt before a wolf went in for the kill. Then it dawned on him that that was not a dog, but a man acting like a dog. "Uh, I may only have like, one eye,, but… that is a man."

"No, it's my puppy." Demyx insisted. Saïx growled and reached for his Claymore.

"Okay, okay!" Xigbar relented, "That's your puppy."

The cuckoo clock above the stove struck nine. Demyx gasped. "Oh no! I was supposed to be back at RiSo's fifteen minutes ago. I better call them." He got up and turned his back to the one eyed man. Saïx took this as an opportunity to glare the hell out of Xigbar, flashing teeth and keeping a hand on his massive sword thing.

_Where does he keep that thing? _Xigbar wondered, wriggling under the mans intense glare. _He's doing that like it's my fault Demy's late._

"It was your fault!"

"Shut up Luxord!"

Demyx turned back to Xigbar, face shining with glee. "My bosses, Riku and Sora closed early to go on a double date with Sora's brother Roxas and his boyfriend Axel, so I actually got off work when I delivered your pizza."

"That's great luv!" Luxord said from inside his room.

"Thanks. Kind of hard to believe it though, I mean, when does something like this happen?"

Xigbar slid over and slung an arm around Demyx's shoulders. "So kiddo, since you're off do you wanna like, go someplace?"

Demyx looked up, eyes bright. "Like a date?" he asked excitedly. Upon hearing this Saïx went from watching Luxords door to frowning at Xigbar.

"Exactly dude."

Demyx nodded excitedly. As Xigbar went to open the door the boy asked, "We can bring my puppy, can't we?"

Xigbar thought on it. Then he saw Luxords door open a crack. Saïx suddenly sneezed and the door slammed shut. The one eyed man got a delightfully evil idea. "Why don't we leave him with Luxord kid." he said with a sly smile. "Luxy would totally watch over him for you."

"…Okay." Demyx held Saïx's face. "Puppy, I'm leaving you with Xiggys friend tonight. So be good and I'll see you later."

Saïx whined.

Demyx kissed his forehead. "Bye puppy," he said, "Let's go Xiggy."

" 'Kay Demy, let me just tell Luxord something."

"Okay."

Xigbar opened the door to Luxord's room and found it empty. Then he looked behind the door and found a squashed Luxord. "payback's a bitch Luxy." he said creepily.

"What?"

"Have fun watching Demy's 'puppy'!"

"WHAT?"

Xigbar grabbed his dates wrist and flew through the door. "Let's go Demyx!"

"Bye puppy! Bye Luxy!"

Luxord wrenched open his door. "You bloody-"

Saïx growled.

For a moment the two stared at each other.

"…Nice doggy?"

People in apartment 8c later reported a lion attack in the next room.


End file.
